Toddler Sleep Training: Methods for Teaching Older Children to Sleep

You may have thought sleep training was only for babies. But many parents find themselves with toddlers who still need help falling asleep, wake frequently at night, or have developed problematic sleep associations. The good news: toddlers can absolutely learn to sleep better.

Toddler sleep training looks a bit different than infant sleep training, but it can be just as effective.

Can You Sleep Train a Toddler? AAP

Yes, and sometimes it's easier:

Advantages:

• Toddlers can understand explanations
• You can use verbal communication
• Reward systems can work
• Toddlers can have more self-control than babies
• They want to be "big kids"

Challenges:

• Toddlers can climb out of bed
• They have strong opinions and will express them
• They can verbally protest extensively
• Habits are more established
• They're very good at testing limits

What research shows:

• Sleep training works for toddlers AAP
• Doesn't cause psychological harm
• Improves sleep for child AND parents
• Various methods are effective

When Toddler Sleep Training Makes Sense NSF

Good candidates:

• Toddler can't fall asleep without parent present
• Multiple night wakings requiring parent intervention
• Toddler only sleeps in parent's bed
• Bedtime takes an hour or more
• Sleep situation is unsustainable for family

When to wait:

• Toddler is sick
• Major life change just happened (new sibling, moving, starting daycare)
• Parents can't commit to 1-2 weeks of consistency
• One parent isn't on board

Before You Begin

Evaluate the schedule:

• Is bedtime appropriate? (Not too early or too late)
• Is nap interfering with bedtime?
• Is toddler getting enough total sleep?
• Fix schedule issues first

Optimize the environment:

• Dark room
• White noise
• Cool temperature
• Safe if toddler is in toddler bed

Establish a routine:

• Consistent bedtime routine
• Same order every night
• 20-30 minutes
• Ends with clear goodbye ritual

Set expectations:

• Talk to toddler during daytime about new plan
• Keep it simple and positive
• "You're going to learn to fall asleep in your own bed!"
• Use picture books about sleep

Toddler Sleep Training Methods AAP

1. Gradual withdrawal (fading):

*How it works:*

• Start by sitting next to toddler's bed until asleep
• Each night, move farther away (chair method)
• Eventually sit outside door, then leave before asleep

*Timeline:*

• Move chair every 2-3 nights
• Takes 1-3 weeks typically
• Slower but gentler

*Pros:*

• Minimal crying
• Parent presence is comforting
• Good for anxious toddlers

*Cons:*

• Takes longer
• Requires patience
• Can get stuck at certain stages

2. Timed checks (controlled comforting):

*How it works:*

• Put toddler to bed awake
• Leave the room
• Return at increasing intervals to reassure
• Briefly comfort, then leave again

*Intervals example:*

• Night 1: 3 min, 5 min, 7 min, 10 min
• Night 2: 5 min, 7 min, 10 min, 12 min
• Night 3: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min, 15 min

*Check guidelines:*

• Keep checks brief (30-60 seconds)
• "You're okay. Time to sleep. I love you."
• Don't pick up or lie with toddler
• Leave while toddler is still awake

*Pros:*

• Usually effective within a week
• Parent provides reassurance
• Teaches independent sleep

*Cons:*

• Involves some crying
• Can be hard for parents to hear
• Toddlers may escalate during checks

3. Silent return (for getting out of bed):

*How it works:*

• If toddler gets out of bed, silently walk them back
• No talking, no eye contact, no emotion
• "It's bedtime" if you must say something
• Repeat as many times as needed

*Important:*

• Be prepared for MANY returns first few nights
• Stay calm and consistent
• It gets better quickly with consistency
• Giving in after 20 returns teaches that 21 works

*Combine with other methods:*

• Use silent return alongside other techniques
• Essential if toddler is in toddler bed

4. Bedtime fading (for schedule issues):

*How it works:*

• Put toddler to bed when actually tired (even if late)
• Gradually move bedtime earlier over days
• Reduces resistance because toddler is actually ready for sleep

*Example:*

• If toddler falls asleep at 9:00 PM currently
• Start bedtime at 9:00 PM
• Move 15 minutes earlier every few days
• Goal: reach desired bedtime over 1-2 weeks

Managing Toddler-Specific Challenges NSF

Toddler gets out of bed repeatedly:

• Silent return technique
• Baby gate on doorway if needed
• Door monkey or lock (controversial but sometimes necessary)
• Make room completely safe
• Praise for staying in bed

Toddler throws tantrum:

• Stay calm—your emotion escalates theirs
• Brief acknowledgment: "I know you're upset. It's bedtime."
• Don't engage in power struggle
• Follow through with chosen method
• It will improve with consistency

Toddler vomits from crying:

• This happens sometimes
• Stay calm, clean up with minimal interaction
• Change sheets, PJs if needed
• Return to plan
• Usually only happens once or twice

Toddler makes demands:

• Address all needs BEFORE lights out (water, potty, hugs)
• After lights out, one response: "You already had X. Time to sleep."
• Use bedtime pass for one allowed request
• Don't get into negotiation cycle

Toddler calls out for you:

• Depends on your method
• For timed checks: respond at your intervals
• For gradual withdrawal: remind from your position
• For silent return: only respond if they get up
• Brief, boring responses

Setting Up for Success AAP

Talk to your toddler:

• "We're going to help you learn to fall asleep in your own bed."
• Keep it positive and matter-of-fact
• Read books about bedtime
• Role-play with stuffed animals

Use rewards:

• Sticker chart for good bedtime behavior
• Small reward in morning for staying in bed
• Praise enthusiastically for any progress
• Focus on positive, not punishment

Prepare yourself:

• First few nights are usually hardest
• It WILL get better
• Consistency is crucial
• Tag team with partner if possible
• Have a plan before you start

Timing:

• Start on a weekend or when you have energy
• Don't start before travel or major events
• Commit to 1-2 weeks of consistency

Sample Night-by-Night Progress

Night 1:

• Hardest night for many families
• Toddler may cry/protest extensively
• Multiple get-outs of bed if in toddler bed
• You may question everything

Night 2:

• Sometimes worse than night 1 (extinction burst)
• Toddler testing to see if rules are really real
• Stay consistent

Night 3-4:

• Usually starting to see improvement
• Less protest, faster to sleep
• Fewer night wakings
• Starting to believe it's working

Night 5-7:

• Significant improvement for most toddlers
• New pattern establishing
• Not perfect, but better
• Keep being consistent

Week 2:

• Most toddlers adjusted
• Sleep is much better
• Occasional testing nights are normal
• Maintain consistency

What Other Parents Ask

Q: Is it too late to sleep train my 2-year-old?
A: No. You can teach better sleep habits at any age. Toddlers understand explanations and can participate in the process. Expect 1-2 weeks of adjustment with consistent effort. AAP

Q: Will my toddler hate me if I sleep train?
A: No. Research shows sleep training doesn't harm the parent-child relationship. Your toddler may be upset during the process, but they will still love you—and everyone will feel better with more sleep. NSF

Q: What if my toddler gets out of bed 50 times?
A: Use silent return every single time. It may take 50+ returns the first night or two. Stay calm and consistent. By night 3-4, it's usually dramatically less. AAP

Q: Should I lock my toddler's door?
A: This is controversial. Some experts say it's okay as a last resort for safety. Others recommend baby gates or door monkeys instead. Make sure the room is completely safe if toddler is contained. Never use a lock if it makes you uncomfortable.

Q: How long until my toddler sleeps through the night?
A: Most toddlers show significant improvement within 1 week of consistent sleep training. Full resolution may take 2-3 weeks. Occasional regressions are normal.

The Bottom Line

Toddler sleep training is absolutely possible and often easier than expected because toddlers can understand language and respond to incentives. The key is consistency—whatever method you choose, stick with it.

Key points:

• Toddlers can learn to sleep independently at any age
• Choose a method that fits your family
• Talk to toddler about the plan
• Use rewards and praise
• Silent return for toddlers who get out of bed
• First few nights are hardest—it gets better
• Consistency is more important than which method you choose
• Most toddlers improve significantly within 1-2 weeks

Clara is here to help you teach your toddler healthy sleep habits.