Toddler Sleep Challenges: From Bedtime Battles to Night Wakings

Just when you thought sleep was finally under control, your toddler has other plans. Bedtime battles, night wakings, early morning visits, crib climbing—toddler sleep brings its own set of challenges. Here's what's going on and how to help everyone get more rest.

Why Toddler Sleep Is Different

Several factors make toddler sleep uniquely challenging: AAP

Developmental changes:

• Growing independence and opinions
• Fear and imagination developing
• Language explosion = negotiation skills
• Testing limits is their developmental job
• Separation anxiety may resurge

Physical changes:

• Nap transitions (2 to 1, then eventually none)
• Big kid bed transitions
• Increased mobility (climbing out of crib)
• Growth spurts affecting sleep

Common sleep disruptors:

• New sibling
• Potty training
• Starting daycare/preschool
• Moving
• Illness
• Changes in routine

How Much Sleep Toddlers Need

Guidelines from the AAP: AAP

12-24 months:

• Total: 11-14 hours per day
• Typically: 1-2 naps

2-3 years:

• Total: 11-14 hours per day
• Typically: 1 nap (or transitioning out)

Note: These are averages. Some children need more, some less. Watch your child, not just the clock.

Bedtime Battles: Getting Them to Stay in Bed

The most common toddler sleep struggle: AAP

### Why It Happens

• Testing boundaries is developmentally appropriate
• Desire for control and independence
• Fear of missing out
• Separation anxiety
• Overtired = harder to settle
• Undertired = not sleepy enough
• Bedtime routine too stimulating

### Prevention Strategies

Consistent, calming routine:

• Same time, same sequence every night
• 20-30 minutes of winding down
• Bath, books, songs—calming activities
• End routine in their room
• Clear signals that bedtime is coming

Appropriate bedtime:

• Not too early (not sleepy) or too late (overtired)
• Watch for sleepy cues
• Earlier isn't always better
• Adjust based on naps

Transition warnings:

• "Five more minutes until we start bedtime"
• "After this story, it's time for sleep"
• Use timers so you're not the "bad guy"

Give limited choices:

• "Which pajamas?"
• "Which two books?"
• "Stuffed animal or blanket?"
• Choices give control within your boundaries

### When They Keep Getting Up

The boring return:

• Walk them back to bed
• Minimal interaction
• Same phrase every time: "It's bedtime. Back to bed."
• Don't engage in conversation or negotiation
• Be consistent—may need many returns at first

"Jack-in-the-box" technique:
First return: Warm tuck-in, brief reassurance
Second return: Less warm, fewer words
Subsequent returns: Silent return to bed

Stay consistent:

• This can take nights to work
• It WILL get worse before better
• Partner consistency is crucial
• Don't give up after three nights

Night Wakings

### Why Toddlers Wake at Night

• Sleep cycle transitions (normal)
• Nightmares (emerging imagination)
• Night terrors (different from nightmares)
• Fear of the dark
• Need to use bathroom
• Illness or teething
• Changes in routine
• Habit

### Nightmares vs. Night Terrors

Nightmares: AAP

• Happen in second half of night
• Child wakes fully and remembers
• Needs comfort
• May be scared to go back to sleep
• Common 2-4 years as imagination grows

Night terrors:

• Happen in first half of night
• Child is not really awake
• May scream, thrash, look terrified
• Doesn't respond to comfort
• No memory in morning
• Don't try to wake them—just keep safe

### Handling Night Wakings

If child calls out or comes to your room:

• Keep lights dim
• Speak quietly
• Comfort briefly
• Return to their bed (not yours, unless that's your choice)
• Keep it boring—no extended talking or playing

If nightmares:

• Comfort and reassure: "You're safe. It was just a dream."
• Stay until calm
• Maybe leave door open or add nightlight
• Talk about dreams briefly in daytime if child wants

If night terrors:

• Don't try to wake child
• Keep them safe
• Stay calm
• They'll return to sleep
• Consider earlier bedtime (often related to overtiredness)

Early Morning Waking

### What's "Too Early"?

• Before 6 AM is generally considered too early
• But some kids are natural early risers
• Adjust expectations based on bedtime

### Why It Happens

• Biological clock (some kids are larks)
• Going to bed too early
• Going to bed too late (overtired)
• Light in room signaling wake
• Nap too late in day
• Hunger

### Solutions

Environment:

• Blackout curtains (light = wake signal)
• White noise to mask early morning sounds
• Comfortable temperature

Toddler clocks:

• "Okay to wake" clocks show green when it's morning
• Helps child understand when to stay in bed
• Start with achievable time and gradually move later
• Praise when they wait

Adjust schedule:

• Try slightly later bedtime (15-minute increments)
• Make sure nap isn't too late
• Avoid keeping them up too late (backfires)

Don't reinforce early waking:

• Keep room dark and boring
• Don't immediately provide milk/screen/play
• Quiet activity in room until okay-to-wake time

Nap Transitions

### 2 to 1 Nap Transition

When (typically):

• Between 12-18 months
• Signs: Refusing second nap, or first nap pushes too late

How:

• Gradually push morning nap later
• Aim for midday nap (around 12:30-1)
• Earlier bedtime during transition
• Takes weeks to adjust

### Dropping the Last Nap

When (typically):

• Between 3-5 years
• Signs: Taking forever to fall asleep at night, not tired at nap time, nap interfering with bedtime

How:

• Start with quiet time instead of forced nap
• Keep quiet time in same location
• Earlier bedtime during transition
• Some kids still need occasional naps

Transitioning to a Big Kid Bed

### When to Transition

Not before:

• Age 3 if possible
• Or when climbing out becomes unsafe

Signs they're ready:

• Consistently climbing out of crib
• Potty training (need bathroom access)
• New sibling needs crib (if child is ready)

### Making the Transition

Set up for success:

• Childproof the room thoroughly
• Baby gate at door if needed
• Make it exciting—let them pick sheets
• Consider floor bed or low toddler bed

Expect challenges:

• Increased getting out of bed (novelty + access)
• Use same strategies as bedtime battles
• Patience and consistency

When to Seek Help

Talk to your pediatrician if: AAP

• Extreme difficulty falling asleep despite good routine
• Snoring or breathing difficulties during sleep
• Very frequent night terrors
• Excessive daytime sleepiness
• Sleep issues significantly affecting family
• Sleep problems don't improve with consistency
• You suspect sleep disorder

The Bottom Line

Toddler sleep challenges are normal—testing limits is literally their developmental job. The keys are consistency, realistic expectations, and understanding that this phase will pass.

Focus on:

• Consistent, calming bedtime routine
• Age-appropriate sleep schedule
• Boring responses to night wakings
• Patience (it takes time)

You won't always get it perfect. Sleep will have good phases and hard phases. That's normal too.

Clara is here if you need help troubleshooting your toddler's specific sleep challenges.