Toddler Night Wakings: Why Your Toddler Wakes and What to Do
You thought you were past the newborn night waking phase. But here you are, up at 2 AM with a toddler who is calling for you, climbing out of bed, or fully awake and wanting to play. Night wakings in toddlers are common and can have many causes.
Understanding why your toddler is waking can help you address the problem effectively.
Is Night Waking Normal for Toddlers? AAP
The truth:
- Brief night wakings are normal for all humans
- We all cycle through sleep stages and partially wake
- The question is whether toddler can fall back asleep
- Some night waking is developmentally normal
When it's a problem:
- Toddler needs parent intervention every time
- Multiple wakings per night regularly
- Affects toddler's daytime behavior
- Exhausts parents
- Pattern continues for weeks
What's age-appropriate:
- 12-18 months: Occasional wakings are normal, especially during transitions
- 18-24 months: Should be able to sleep through most nights
- 2-3 years: Night wakings should be infrequent
- Sick or stressed toddlers may wake more temporarily
Common Causes of Night Wakings NSF
1. Sleep associations:
- Toddler needs something specific to fall asleep
- When they wake between cycles, need that thing again
- Examples: parent present, being rocked, holding parent's hand
2. Developmental changes:
- Learning new skills (walking, talking)
- Separation anxiety peaks
- Nightmares begin around 2-3 years
- Brain is processing a lot
3. Schedule issues:
- Overtired at bedtime
- Undertired (nap too long or too late)
- Bedtime too late
- Wake time too early
4. Environmental factors:
- Temperature too hot or cold
- Noise disturbances
- Light in the room
- Uncomfortable pajamas or bedding
5. Physical needs:
- Hunger (if not eating enough during day)
- Thirst
- Wet diaper or potty training related
- Teething (lingering in young toddlers)
- Illness or ear infection
6. Anxiety or fear:
- Fear of the dark
- Nightmares
- Separation anxiety
- Life changes (new sibling, moving, starting daycare)
Strategies for Different Causes AAP
If it's sleep associations:
*The problem:*
- Toddler can't fall asleep without specific conditions
- Wakes and needs those conditions recreated
*Solutions:*
- Work on falling asleep independently at bedtime
- Gradually reduce parental presence
- Use transitional object (blanket, stuffed animal)
- Bedtime determines middle-of-night skills
If it's developmental:
*The problem:*
- Toddler is going through a regression or leap
- Separation anxiety makes them call for you
*Solutions:*
- Practice separations during the day
- Reassure briefly but consistently at night
- Comfort object can help
- Will pass as developmental phase ends
If it's schedule-related:
*Signs of overtiredness:*
- Takes forever to fall asleep at bedtime
- Wakes frequently at night
- Early morning waking
- Cranky during day
*Solutions:*
- Earlier bedtime
- Protect nap
- Watch for overtired cues
*Signs of undertiredness:*
- Not tired at bedtime
- Takes 30+ minutes to fall asleep
- Wakes in middle of night, alert
- Very long naps
*Solutions:*
- Later bedtime
- Shorten or eliminate nap
- More activity during day
If it's environmental:
*Checklist:*
- Room dark enough? (Use blackout shades)
- White noise on all night?
- Temperature appropriate? (68-72°F)
- Comfortable pajamas?
- No disruptions? (Pets, siblings, outside noise)
If it's physical:
*Possible causes:*
- Hunger: Make sure dinner is adequate, offer bedtime snack
- Thirst: Leave water in accessible cup
- Wet diaper: Super absorbent overnight diapers
- Illness: Treat underlying condition
- Pain: Teething remedies if appropriate
If it's anxiety or fear:
*For nightmares:*
- Comfort and reassure
- "Nightmare spray" (water in spray bottle)
- Nightlight if needed
- Talk about dreams during day
*For separation anxiety:*
- Practice during day
- Reassure you'll always come back
- Keep responses brief but warm at night
- Comfort object helps
Responding to Night Wakings NSF
General principles:
Wait before responding:
- Give toddler a minute to settle
- They may fall back asleep on their own
- Immediate response reinforces waking
Keep it boring:
- Dim light or darkness
- Minimal talking
- No exciting activities
- Brief comfort, then leave
Be consistent:
- Same response every time
- Both parents on same page
- Don't sometimes ignore, sometimes engage fully
- Consistency teaches what to expect
Stay calm:
- Toddler picks up on your frustration
- Matter-of-fact responses work best
- "It's nighttime. Time to sleep."
Techniques for Reducing Night Wakings AAP
Gradual withdrawal:
- Start by sitting next to bed until toddler sleeps
- Each night, move farther away
- Eventually sit outside door, then leave entirely
- Takes 1-2 weeks typically
Timed checks:
- Put toddler to bed awake
- Return at set intervals to reassure
- Gradually increase intervals
- Teaches toddler to fall asleep independently
Bedtime pass:
- Give toddler one "pass" per night
- Can use it for one request (water, hug)
- After pass is used, no more requests honored
- Gives toddler sense of control
Silent return:
- If toddler comes to your room, silently walk them back
- No talking, no eye contact, no engagement
- Repeat as many times as needed
- Eventually toddler learns it's pointless to come out
When Toddler Comes to Your Room AAP
Options:
Walk them back (recommended):
- Silently return to their bed
- No talking, no negotiating
- "It's time to sleep. I love you. Goodnight."
- Be prepared to do this MANY times at first
Allow in your bed:
- Some families choose to co-sleep
- If this works for you, it's okay
- If you don't want it, don't start it
- Once started, hard to change
"Okay to wake" clock:
- Teaches toddler when it's okay to get up
- Set to turn green at appropriate time
- "When the light is green, you can come out"
- Helpful for early risers too
Toddler Bed Transitions and Night Wakings
New freedom can cause wakings:
- Toddler can now get out of bed
- May test boundaries
- May come to your room
- May play instead of sleep
Tips for success:
- Keep routine the same as before
- Make room completely safe
- Baby gate on doorway if needed
- Return to bed without drama
If wakings increase after bed transition:
- This is normal for first 1-2 weeks
- Stay consistent with responses
- Praise staying in bed
- Consider if transition was too early
When to See Your Pediatrician AAP
Medical causes to rule out:
- Snoring, gasping, pauses in breathing (sleep apnea)
- Very restless sleep (may indicate disorder)
- Pain that wakes child
- Frequent ear infections
- Reflux
Call if:
- Night wakings are getting worse despite interventions
- Toddler seems in pain at night
- Snoring is loud or includes pauses
- Daytime function is significantly affected
- You're concerned something is wrong
What Other Parents Ask
Q: My toddler was sleeping through and now isn't. What happened?
A: Common causes: developmental leap, illness, life change (new sibling, moving), schedule issues, or new sleep association. Identify the cause and address it specifically. NSF
Q: Is it okay to bring my toddler to our bed when they wake?
A: It depends on your family. If everyone sleeps better and you're happy with it, it's fine. If you don't want to co-sleep, don't start—it's a hard habit to break.
Q: How long before night wakings stop?
A: With consistent intervention, most toddlers improve within 1-2 weeks. Without intervention, it may continue indefinitely. The key is consistency. AAP
Q: My toddler wakes screaming. Nightmare or night terror?
A: Night terrors: Toddler seems awake but isn't, doesn't recognize you, can't be comforted, no memory in morning. Nightmares: Toddler wakes fully, can describe dream, wants comfort, remembers in morning.
Q: Should I night wean my toddler?
A: Most toddlers over 12 months don't need night feeds for nutrition. If your toddler is eating well during the day and waking for comfort feeding, you can work on weaning. Discuss with your pediatrician.
The Bottom Line
Toddler night wakings are common but usually solvable. The key is identifying the cause—whether it's sleep associations, schedule issues, developmental changes, or environmental factors—and addressing it consistently.
Key points:
- Brief night wakings are normal; needing parent help every time isn't
- Identify the cause before choosing a strategy
- Respond consistently and calmly
- Boring nighttime responses discourage waking for attention
- If toddler comes to your room, silently return to bed
- Most toddlers improve within 1-2 weeks of consistent intervention
Clara is here to help you troubleshoot your toddler's night wakings.