Teen Body Image: Helping Your Teen Develop a Healthy Relationship with Their Body

Adolescence brings dramatic physical changes, and with them, often comes intense body scrutiny. In a world of filtered social media and unrealistic beauty standards, helping your teen develop healthy body image is one of the most important things you can do for their long-term wellbeing.

This guide covers how body image develops, warning signs to watch for, and practical ways to support your teen.

What You Need to Know AAP

What is body image?

• How someone perceives their own body
• Feelings and thoughts about appearance
• Develops throughout childhood and adolescence
• Influenced by many factors: family, peers, media, culture

Why it matters:

• Body image affects self-esteem and mental health
• Poor body image linked to depression and anxiety
• Can lead to disordered eating
• Impacts physical and social activity
• Affects academic performance

The reality for teens:

• 50-70% of teen girls report dissatisfaction with their bodies
• Boys are increasingly affected too
• Social media has intensified pressure
• Normal developmental changes can trigger concerns AAP

Normal vs. concerning:

• Some self-consciousness about appearance is normal
• Wanting to look good is normal
• Obsession, restriction, or distress is concerning
• When body concerns affect daily functioning, it's time to intervene

Understanding Teen Body Changes

What's happening physically:

• Growth spurts (height and weight)
• Body composition changes (especially fat distribution in girls)
• Muscle development (especially in boys)
• Puberty changes timing varies widely
• Changes happen at different rates for everyone

Why this is hard:

• Comparison to peers is constant
• "Early" and "late" developers both struggle
• Bodies don't match media images
• Changes feel out of control
• Self-consciousness increases

What helps:

• Normalize the variety of body types
• Explain that changes are temporary and ongoing
• Reassure that everyone develops differently
• Focus on what bodies can DO, not how they look

How Parents Influence Body Image

Modeling matters most:

• Your own body talk affects your teen
• Criticizing your own body teaches them to criticize theirs
• Diet talk is absorbed, even when not directed at them
• They notice how you eat and exercise

Helpful behaviors:

• Speak positively about your own body
• Focus on health, not appearance
• Exercise for enjoyment and health, not punishment
• Eat intuitively—variety, balance, flexibility

Harmful behaviors to avoid:

• Criticizing your own body in front of them
• Commenting on others' weight or appearance
• Praising weight loss
• Making food "good" or "bad"
• Using exercise as punishment for eating

Talking About Bodies

Shift the focus:

• From appearance to function
• From how bodies look to what they do
• From weight to health behaviors
• From comparison to appreciation

Helpful language:

• "Bodies come in all shapes and sizes"
• "What matters is how you feel, not how you look"
• "Your body is strong and capable"
• "Health is about habits, not numbers on a scale"

Avoid:

• "You look so thin/healthy/great!" (ties worth to appearance)
• "Are you sure you want to eat that?"
• "You'd feel better if you lost weight"
• Commenting on other people's bodies

When they criticize themselves:

• Listen and validate feelings
• Don't dismiss ("You look fine!")
• Don't agree ("You could lose a few pounds")
• Redirect: "I hear you're feeling frustrated. Your body is going through a lot of changes right now, and that's hard."

Social Media and Body Image

The impact:

• Constant exposure to unrealistic images
• Filters and editing create impossible standards
• Comparison is intensified
• Association between social media use and body dissatisfaction AAP

What parents can do:

• Discuss that images are edited and filtered
• Encourage curating feeds to include diverse bodies
• Suggest following body-positive accounts
• Set reasonable limits on social media time
• Have ongoing conversations, not lectures

Teaching media literacy:

• Point out edited images together
• Discuss marketing and advertising techniques
• Highlight diverse body representation when you see it
• Acknowledge that even "real" influencers often edit

Warning Signs of Body Image Problems

Watch for:

• Obsessing over appearance or weight
• Frequent body checking or mirror avoidance
• Restrictive eating or binge eating
• Excessive exercise
• Avoiding activities due to body concerns
• Wearing baggy clothes to hide body
• Social withdrawal
• Depression or anxiety
• Significant weight changes

Eating disorder signs:

• Dramatic weight loss or gain
• Fear of eating in front of others
• Disappearing after meals (possible purging)
• Food rituals
• Preoccupation with food, calories, nutrition
• Excessive exercise
• Laxative or diet pill use

When to get help:

• Body concerns affecting daily functioning
• Signs of eating disorder
• Depression or anxiety related to body
• Self-harm
• Any concerning symptoms AAP

Building Healthy Body Image

Focus on:

• What their body can do (sports, art, hugging friends)
• Internal qualities (kindness, humor, intelligence)
• Health behaviors, not appearance outcomes
• Self-care that feels good

Encourage:

• Physical activity they enjoy
• Nourishing their body with variety
• Rest and self-care
• Relationships and activities unrelated to appearance

Support their interests:

• Activities that build competence
• Skills and achievements beyond appearance
• Diverse friendships
• Identity beyond looks

What Other Parents Ask

Q: My teen constantly criticizes their body. What do I say?
A: Listen without dismissing or agreeing. Validate their feelings without reinforcing negative self-talk. Say something like: "It sounds like you're feeling really frustrated with your body right now. Bodies change so much during the teen years, and that can be really hard." Redirect toward what their body can do and how they're taking care of it.

Q: Should I comment when my teen looks nice?
A: Compliment efforts and choices rather than appearance ("I love how you put that outfit together" vs. "You look so skinny"). Balance appearance comments with compliments on character, effort, and skills.

Q: My teen wants to diet. Should I help them?
A: Restrictive dieting is generally not recommended for teens—it can harm growth and trigger eating disorders. If they're concerned about weight, focus on healthy lifestyle habits. Discuss with your pediatrician. Never put a teen on a diet without medical guidance. AAP

Q: How do I know if my teen has an eating disorder?
A: Warning signs include dramatic weight changes, obsession with food/calories, restrictive eating or binge eating, excessive exercise, hiding eating, and mood changes around food. If you're concerned, consult your pediatrician immediately. Early intervention improves outcomes.

Q: My teen is being teased about their body. What do I do?
A: Validate their feelings, don't minimize. Help them develop responses. Report bullying to school. Remind them the problem is the bully, not their body. Seek support if it's affecting their wellbeing.

The Bottom Line

Healthy body image develops over time with consistent messages that bodies are valued for what they do, not how they look. Model positive body talk, avoid diet culture, talk about media literacy, and watch for warning signs. Focus on health behaviors rather than appearance outcomes. Get help early if you see signs of eating disorders. AAP

Key points:

• Your body talk affects their body image
• Focus on function, not appearance
• Discuss media/social media influence
• Watch for warning signs
• Avoid dieting; focus on healthy habits
• Get help early if concerned

Clara is here to help you support your teen's body image.