Helping Teens Resist Pressure to Try Drugs and Alcohol

Most teenagers will face pressure to try alcohol, marijuana, or other substances at some point during adolescence. Some will experiment; some will resist. As a parent, you can significantly influence which path your teen takes—not by lecturing or scaring, but by building the relationship, skills, and self-confidence they need to make good decisions when you're not around.

Prevention isn't about creating fear. It's about creating kids who don't want or need to use substances, and who have the skills to resist when offered.

Why Teens Try Drugs and Alcohol AAP

Understanding the "why" helps you address root causes.

Common reasons teens experiment:

• Curiosity—it's developmentally normal to wonder
• Peer pressure—wanting to fit in, fear of rejection
• Stress relief—academic pressure, social stress, anxiety
• Boredom—especially with nothing else to do
• Rebellion—asserting independence from parents
• Thrill-seeking—adolescent brain craves novelty
• Self-medication—dealing with depression, anxiety, trauma

Risk factors that increase likelihood:

• Family history of substance use
• Untreated mental health issues
• High stress or trauma
• Weak parent-teen relationship
• Friends who use substances
• Early onset of puberty
• Accessibility of substances

Protective factors that reduce risk:

• Strong parent-teen relationship
• Clear expectations and monitoring
• Involvement in positive activities
• Good mental health support
• Friends who don't use
• Skills to manage stress
• Sense of purpose and future

Starting the Conversation AAP

Talking about substances works better than silence.

When to start:

• Before they face pressure (by 9-10 for alcohol, drugs)
• Conversations should be ongoing, not one-time
• Use media and news as teachable moments
• Keep talking through high school

How to approach:

• Be calm, not alarmist
• Ask what they know and have seen
• Listen more than lecture
• Share your values clearly but not judgmentally
• Acknowledge the realities of peer pressure

What to cover:

• Why people use substances (not just "it's bad")
• Short and long-term effects on developing brains
• How addiction develops
• Your expectations and rules
• Consequences if rules are broken
• How to handle peer pressure
• That they can always call you, no questions asked

Avoid:

• Scare tactics that don't match reality
• Hypocrisy (if you drink, acknowledge it)
• Assuming they'll never be exposed
• One-and-done conversations
• Lecturing without listening

Teaching Refusal Skills AAP

Teens need practical strategies for saying no.

Ways to refuse:

• "No thanks, I'm good"
• "I'm driving"
• "My parents drug test me" (can be a face-saving excuse even if not true)
• "I have a game/work tomorrow"
• "I don't like how it makes me feel"
• "I'm on medication that doesn't mix"
• Just leaving the situation

Practice makes perfect:

• Role-play pressure situations
• Let them practice on you
• Discuss what makes it hard to say no
• Build confidence in their ability

Exit strategies:

• Establish a code word to text you for pickup
• No questions asked if they need a ride home
• Fake an excuse to leave
• Have a friend as backup

Choosing friends wisely:

• Discuss how to recognize problematic situations
• Talk about choosing friends who share values
• It's okay to distance from friends who pressure

Setting Clear Expectations and Rules AAP

Ambiguity doesn't help. Clarity does.

Be explicit about your expectations:

• No underage drinking
• No drug use
• Consequences for breaking rules
• What "zero tolerance" means for your family

Why clear rules help:

• Removes ambiguity in the moment
• Gives them something to blame ("my parents will kill me")
• Shows you care enough to set limits
• Teens actually want boundaries (even if they resist)

Monitoring matters:

• Know where they are, who they're with
• Call to check in or verify
• Meet their friends and friends' parents
• Spot-check occasionally
• Trust but verify

Consequences if rules are broken:

• Should be known in advance
• Follow through consistently
• Connected to the behavior (loss of privileges)
• Not so extreme that they hide problems from you
• Focus on safety, not punishment

The Role of Your Relationship AAP

The parent-teen relationship is the #1 protective factor.

Why it matters:

• Teens who feel connected to parents are less likely to use
• Open communication means they'll come to you with problems
• Your approval still matters (even if they act like it doesn't)
• Knowing you're monitoring deters use

How to strengthen connection:

• Spend one-on-one time
• Show interest in their life
• Be available when they want to talk
• Respond calmly to difficult disclosures
• Express love even during conflict

Keep communication open:

• Don't overreact to admissions
• Avoid harsh judgment that shuts down honesty
• Separate behavior from the person
• Make it clear they can always talk to you

Recognizing Warning Signs AAP

Know what to watch for.

Behavioral signs:

• Changes in friend group
• Declining grades
• Loss of interest in activities
• Increased secrecy
• Asking for money more often
• Paraphernalia (pipes, rolling papers, eye drops)
• Smell of alcohol or marijuana

Physical signs:

• Bloodshot eyes
• Changes in appetite or sleep
• Unusual tiredness or energy
• Coordination problems
• Unexplained injuries

Emotional signs:

• Mood swings
• Irritability or hostility
• Depression or apathy
• Paranoia or anxiety
• Personality changes

What to do if you're concerned:

• Have a calm, direct conversation
• Express concern without accusations
• Listen to their response
• Consider drug testing if appropriate
• Seek professional help if use is confirmed

If Your Teen is Using AAP

Finding out is scary, but action is possible.

Immediate response:

• Stay calm (hard but essential)
• Have a conversation, not a confrontation
• Seek to understand the situation
• Express love along with concern
• Make a plan together

Assess the severity:

• One-time experimentation is different from regular use
• Addiction is different from poor judgment
• Mental health issues may be driving use
• Each requires different response

Getting help:

• Pediatrician is a good starting point
• Substance abuse counselors specialize in teens
• Family therapy can address underlying issues
• Intensive programs for serious addiction
• Don't try to handle addiction alone

Consequences and support:

• Consequences still apply
• But punishment alone doesn't treat addiction
• Balance accountability with help
• Recovery takes time and support

Specific Substances and Talking Points AAP

Different substances need somewhat different conversations.

Alcohol:

• Most commonly used by teens
• Normalizing in society doesn't make it safe for teens
• Binge drinking is particularly dangerous
• Discuss your own use honestly

Marijuana:

• Increasingly legal but not for teens
• Still harmful to developing brains
• Can affect motivation, memory, and mental health
• Not "harmless" despite cultural shifts

Vaping/E-cigarettes:

• Often seen as harmless; it's not
• Highly addictive (nicotine)
• Unknown long-term effects
• Gateway to other substances

Prescription drugs:

• Misuse is common among teens
• Includes ADHD meds, opioids, benzos
• Secure your own medications
• Discuss dangers of taking others' prescriptions

Harder drugs:

• Fentanyl has made all drug use more dangerous
• One-time use can be fatal due to contamination
• This is a serious conversation to have

Environmental Prevention AAP

Reduce access and opportunity.

At home:

• Lock up alcohol and medications
• Monitor supplies
• Don't provide alcohol to minors
• Model responsible use yourself

With their social life:

• Know where they're going and who with
• Meet other parents
• Verify that events are supervised
• Have a plan for parties

Keeping them busy:

• Involved teens are protected teens
• Sports, arts, activities, volunteering
• Reduce unsupervised time
• Build skills and purpose

The Bottom Line

You can't prevent all exposure to substances, but you can build a teen who is equipped to resist. Your relationship, your clear expectations, your ongoing conversations, and your monitoring all significantly reduce the chances of problematic use. AAP

Remember:

• Start conversations early and keep them going
• Your relationship is the #1 protective factor
• Clear rules and monitoring matter
• Teach practical refusal skills
• Watch for warning signs

Focus on:

• Building connection, not just rules
• Listening as much as talking
• Addressing underlying risk factors
• Creating structure and supervision
• Seeking help if use becomes a problem

Clara is here when you need help talking to your teen about drugs and alcohol or navigating concerns about substance use.