Preparing Your Family for a New Baby

A new baby changes everything—not just for you, but for everyone in your household. Your toddler's world is about to shift. Your partner is about to navigate exhaustion alongside you. Even your dog knows something is coming.

The good news: with some preparation, you can help your family weather this transition and come out stronger on the other side. This guide covers practical steps to get your home, children, pets, and relationship ready for your new arrival. AAP

Preparing Older Siblings

How you approach this depends entirely on your child's age and temperament.

When to tell your child:

• Toddlers (1-2 years): Wait until your pregnancy is obvious or close to the due date—abstract concepts are hard for them
• Preschoolers (3-4 years): Tell them in the second trimester when you're ready to share the news more broadly
• School-age children (5+): They can understand earlier and may feel hurt if they learn from someone else

How to explain it:
Keep it simple and concrete. "There's a baby growing in Mommy's tummy. When the baby is ready, he or she will come out and live with us."

Books can help:

Reading books about new siblings normalizes the experience. Some favorites include:

• "I'm a Big Brother/Sister" by Joanna Cole
• "The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer
• "Babies Don't Eat Pizza" by Dianne Danzig

Preparing toddlers and preschoolers:

• Talk about babies: Point out babies you see, talk about what babies do (eat, sleep, cry)
• Look at their baby pictures: "You were a baby once too!"
• Practice with dolls: Let them hold, diaper, and "feed" a baby doll
• Don't over-promise: Babies are not playmates for months or years
• Be honest about changes: "The baby will cry sometimes. Mommy might be tired."
• Maintain routines as much as possible: Big changes (new bed, potty training, starting school) should happen well before or after the baby arrives—not during the transition

Preparing school-age children:

• Involve them in preparations: Let them help set up the nursery, choose items, or pick names
• Give them a role: "You'll be such a great big brother/sister"
• Address concerns directly: They may worry about being replaced or losing your attention
• Answer questions honestly: Older kids may have more specific questions about pregnancy and birth
• Maintain one-on-one time: This becomes even more important after baby arrives

Addressing Common Sibling Reactions

Regression is normal. After a new baby arrives, older children may:

• Start wetting the bed again
• Want a bottle or pacifier
• Become more clingy
• Act out or have more tantrums
• Pretend to be a baby

This is not manipulation—it's their way of processing a big change. Respond with patience and extra attention rather than frustration. AAP

Jealousy is expected. Even well-prepared children may feel jealous. Acknowledge their feelings: "It's hard to share Mommy with the baby. I understand." Don't dismiss or shame jealousy—help them work through it.

Safety matters. Never leave a toddler or young child unsupervised with a newborn. Even loving siblings can accidentally hurt a baby through rough play or misguided "help."

Preparing Your Relationship

The transition from couple to family (or from one child to two, etc.) is one of the hardest adjustments in a relationship. AAP Prepare by talking openly about expectations before baby arrives.

Discuss:

• Division of labor: Who will handle nighttime feedings? How will household tasks be split?
• Support systems: Who can you call for help? Will anyone stay with you after birth?
• Communication when exhausted: How will you handle conflict when you're both sleep-deprived?
• Intimacy expectations: Physical recovery takes time, and exhaustion is real—set realistic expectations
• Parenting philosophies: Discuss discipline, screen time, feeding plans, and other areas where you might disagree

Things that help:

• Plan regular check-ins, even if brief: "How are you doing? What do you need?"
• Lower your standards for the house temporarily
• Accept help from others so you can rest or connect
• Thank each other for the work you're each doing
• Remember you're a team, even when you're both running on empty

For the non-birthing partner:
Your partner is recovering physically while learning to care for a newborn. Step up in tangible ways—household tasks, feeding support, night shifts if possible. Ask what they need instead of waiting to be told.

Preparing Pets

Pets, especially dogs, can sense changes in the household and may react to a new baby. Preparation helps keep everyone safe and reduces stress for your pet.

Before baby arrives:

• Practice the new routine: Walk your dog at times that will work postpartum
• Introduce baby sounds and smells: Play recordings of baby cries, use baby lotion on yourself
• Set up baby gear early: Let your pet sniff and explore (supervised) before baby comes
• Establish boundaries: If the nursery will be off-limits, train this before baby arrives
• Brush up on obedience: Make sure your dog responds to basic commands reliably
• Trim nails: Especially important for cats and dogs who may get close to baby

When baby arrives:

• Have someone bring home a blanket or onesie with baby's scent before you come home
• Keep initial introductions calm—don't make a big production
• Never leave your pet alone with the baby, even for a moment
• Continue to give your pet attention—they still need love
• Watch for signs of stress (changes in eating, behavior, or bathroom habits)

When to be concerned:
If your pet shows aggression, resource guarding, or extreme anxiety, consult a veterinarian or animal behaviorist before baby arrives.

Preparing Your Home

You don't need to remodel your house for a newborn, but some practical preparations help.

The essentials:

• Safe sleep space: Crib, bassinet, or play yard that meets current safety standards
• Car seat: Installed correctly (many fire stations offer free installation checks)
• Feeding supplies: Whether breastfeeding (pump, nursing bras, pads) or formula (bottles, formula)
• Diapering supplies: Diapers, wipes, diaper cream, changing pad
• Clothes and swaddles: Newborns don't need much—they grow fast
• A place for baby to hang out: Bouncer, swing, or play mat for safe supervised time

You probably don't need:

• Wipe warmer
• Elaborate nursery decor
• Every baby gadget advertised
• A crib until 4-6 months (bassinets work fine for newborns)

Safety-proof the basics:

• Check smoke and carbon monoxide detectors
• Know where your fire extinguisher is
• Program poison control number into your phone: 1-800-222-1222
• Baby-proofing can wait a few months, but it doesn't hurt to start thinking about it

Planning for After Baby Arrives

Arrange help if possible:

• Line up family or friends to help with meals, cleaning, or older children
• Consider hiring a postpartum doula if financially feasible
• Look into meal trains or delivery services
• Stock your freezer with easy meals before the birth

Set expectations with visitors:

Decide in advance:

• How soon are you comfortable with visitors?
• Who needs to wash hands before holding baby?
• What help would you actually find helpful (hint: holding the baby while you stare at them is not it—doing dishes is)

Plan for practical realities:

• Stock up on toilet paper, paper towels, and household essentials
• Prepare easy snacks for nursing sessions (protein bars, cheese, fruit)
• Have pediatrician contact info and insurance cards ready
• Know where your hospital bag is and what's in it

What Other Parents Ask

Q: My toddler seems to already hate the baby. What do I do?
A: It's normal for older children to have negative reactions—even if they were excited during pregnancy. Focus on one-on-one time with your toddler, don't force them to interact with the baby, and narrate the baby's admiration ("Look, she's watching you! She thinks you're so cool"). AAP

Q: Should I move my toddler to a big kid bed before baby comes?
A: If you need the crib for the new baby, make the transition at least 2-3 months before or 3-4 months after the birth. Avoid making it feel like baby is "taking" their bed. AAP

Q: How do we handle visitors who want to come right away?
A: It's okay to set boundaries. You might say, "We're taking the first week for just our immediate family, but we'd love to see you after that." Real friends will understand.

Q: What if my partner and I have different parenting styles?
A: Some disagreement is normal, but major conflicts should be discussed before baby arrives. A few sessions with a counselor can help you establish shared approaches.

Q: How do I prepare my dog to be around a newborn?
A: Gradual exposure to baby sounds and smells, maintaining routines, and never leaving them unsupervised are key. If you have concerns about aggression, consult a professional before baby arrives.

The Bottom Line

Adding a new baby to your family is a major transition for everyone—not just you. With preparation, patience, and realistic expectations, your family can adjust and grow together.

Older children may struggle, your relationship will be tested, and life will be chaotic for a while. All of this is normal. Focus on the basics: keep everyone fed and safe, be patient with one another, and remember that the hardest phase is also temporary.

Clara is here to help you think through any specific concerns as you prepare for this big change.