Dads Can Get Postpartum Depression Too

When we talk about postpartum depression, the conversation almost always focuses on mothers. But here's something that doesn't get enough attention: fathers can experience postpartum depression too. And it happens more often than most people realize—affecting about 1 in 10 new dads.

If you're a new father struggling with feelings of sadness, anxiety, irritability, or disconnection, you're not alone. And if you're a partner watching a new dad struggle, understanding what's happening is the first step to helping. Paternal postpartum depression is real, it's common, and most importantly—it's treatable.

What Is Paternal Postpartum Depression? AAP

Paternal postpartum depression (PPND) is depression that occurs in fathers during the first year after their baby is born. It shares many features with maternal postpartum depression but often presents differently in men.

How common is it?

• Affects approximately 8-10% of new fathers
• Risk is higher if the mother also has postpartum depression (up to 50%)
• Often peaks 3-6 months after baby's birth (later than mothers)
• Frequently goes unrecognized and untreated

Why it's often missed:

• Focus on mother's mental health (dad's overlooked)
• Men may be less likely to recognize depression in themselves
• Symptoms may look different than "typical" depression
• Cultural expectations that men should be strong and supportive
• No routine screening for fathers at medical appointments

Signs of Postpartum Depression in Dads

Depression in men often looks different than in women. New dads may not recognize what they're experiencing as depression.

Emotional signs:

• Feeling sad, empty, or hopeless
• Irritability, frustration, anger (often the primary symptom in men)
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Disconnection from partner and/or baby
• Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
• Feeling inadequate as a father
• Anxiety about baby's health or your abilities

Behavioral signs:

• Working excessively (avoiding home)
• Increased alcohol or substance use
• Risky behavior
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Conflict in relationship
• Difficulty sleeping (beyond normal newborn disruption)
• Changes in appetite
• Impulsive or reckless decisions

Physical signs:

• Fatigue beyond normal new-parent exhaustion
• Headaches or stomachaches
• Weight changes
• Reduced sex drive

What it's NOT:

• Being tired because you have a newborn (everyone is tired)
• Occasional moments of feeling overwhelmed
• Brief periods of adjustment stress
• Normal anxiety about new responsibilities

When it IS depression:

• Symptoms persist for 2+ weeks
• Symptoms interfere with daily functioning
• You feel significantly different from your usual self
• You're having thoughts of harming yourself

Why Does This Happen? AAP

Fathers don't experience the hormonal changes of pregnancy and birth, but they still undergo significant biological and life changes that can trigger depression.

Hormonal changes in new dads:

• Testosterone drops (by up to 33% in some studies)
• Prolactin and oxytocin levels change
• These shifts are natural but can affect mood
• Less recognized than maternal hormonal changes

Sleep deprivation:

• Severe, ongoing sleep loss affects mental health
• Dads often try to work full days while managing night duties
• Sleep deprivation alone can trigger depression

Life stress:

• Major identity shift
• Financial pressures (new expenses, possibly one income)
• Relationship changes with partner
• Feeling unprepared or incompetent
• Work-life balance challenges

Relationship strain:

• Less attention from partner (necessarily focused on baby)
• Intimacy changes
• Communication difficulties
• Feeling left out of mother-baby bond

Risk factors:

• Personal or family history of depression or anxiety
• Partner experiencing postpartum depression
• Relationship problems
• Financial stress
• Unplanned pregnancy
• Birth complications or NICU stay
• Lack of social support
• Work stress

Impact on the Family

Untreated paternal depression affects the entire family. This isn't about guilt—it's about understanding why treatment matters.

Impact on baby:

• Fathers with depression interact less with babies
• Children may have more emotional and behavioral problems later
• Father's mental health affects child development
• Treatment improves outcomes for children

Impact on partner:

• Mothers have higher rates of depression when fathers are depressed
• Relationship conflict increases
• Parenting burden falls more heavily on mother
• Mutual support becomes harder

Impact on yourself:

• Work performance suffers
• Physical health declines
• Relationships deteriorate
• Substance use may increase
• Untreated depression tends to worsen

Getting Help AAP

If you recognize these symptoms in yourself (or someone you love), getting help is essential—and effective.

First steps:

• Acknowledge something isn't right
• Talk to someone you trust (partner, friend, family member)
• See your doctor—this is a medical condition
• Be honest about what you're experiencing

Treatment options:

Therapy:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is highly effective
• Individual therapy provides space to process feelings
• Couples therapy can address relationship strain
• Many therapists now offer virtual sessions

Medication:

• Antidepressants can help, especially moderate-severe depression
• Takes 2-4 weeks to feel full effects
• Your doctor can help find the right medication
• Can be combined with therapy

Lifestyle changes that help:

• Prioritize sleep (take turns with partner when possible)
• Exercise (even brief walks help)
• Limit alcohol (it worsens depression)
• Connect with other dads
• Maintain one activity you enjoy
• Accept help with baby and household

Support resources:

• Postpartum Support International has resources for dads
• Support groups for new fathers
• Online forums and communities
• Employee assistance programs (EAP)

Overcoming Barriers to Help

Men face unique barriers to getting mental health support. Recognizing these barriers is the first step to overcoming them.

"Real men don't get depressed."
Depression is a medical condition, not a character flaw. Seeking help takes courage, not weakness. Athletes, soldiers, CEOs—men in all walks of life experience depression.

"I should be able to handle this."
Being a new parent is objectively difficult. Struggling doesn't mean you're failing. Getting help means you're taking care of your family.

"My partner needs support—I can't focus on myself."
You can't pour from an empty cup. Getting treatment helps you be a better partner and father. Your mental health matters too.

"I don't have time for therapy."
Telehealth makes therapy more accessible. Many therapists offer evening or early morning sessions. Even brief treatment can make a significant difference.

"What if people judge me?"
Mental health treatment is confidential. More men are speaking up about their experiences. Prioritizing your health is the responsible choice.

What Partners Can Do

If you're reading this because you're worried about the new dad in your life, here's how you can help:

Start the conversation:

• "I've noticed you seem different lately. How are you really doing?"
• "I'm worried about you. Want to talk about what's going on?"
• "I read that dads can get postpartum depression. I wonder if that might be happening."

Be supportive, not pushy:

• Express concern without criticism
• Listen without trying to fix
• Avoid minimizing ("You should just...")
• Make it safe to be vulnerable

Encourage professional help:

• Offer to help find a therapist
• Suggest starting with the family doctor
• Offer to go to an appointment together
• Don't give up if they resist at first

Take care of yourself:

• Your mental health matters too
• Seek your own support
• You can't force someone to get help
• Set boundaries as needed

The Bottom Line

Paternal postpartum depression is real, common, and nothing to be ashamed of. The transition to fatherhood is enormous—biologically, psychologically, and practically. Struggling doesn't mean you're a bad father. Getting help means you're committed to being the best father you can be.

If you're experiencing symptoms of depression, please reach out. Talk to your doctor, call a helpline, or confide in someone you trust. Treatment works, and you deserve to feel like yourself again.

Your baby needs a healthy dad. Your partner needs a healthy co-parent. And you deserve to experience the joy of new fatherhood—not just the struggles.

Clara is here to listen and help you find the support you need.