Colic: Surviving the Crying and Finding Relief

If your baby cries for hours on end, often at the same time each day, and nothing seems to help—you may be dealing with colic. It's one of the most challenging experiences new parents face. The good news? Colic is temporary, it's not your fault, and your baby will be absolutely fine. Let's talk about what's happening and how to get through it.

What Is Colic?

Colic is defined by the "rule of threes": crying that lasts at least 3 hours a day, at least 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks—in an otherwise healthy baby. AAP

Typical colic characteristics:

• Intense crying that sounds like pain or distress
• Crying peaks in the late afternoon or evening (the "witching hour")
• Baby may clench fists, arch back, and pull up legs
• Nothing seems to help—feeding, diaper changes, and cuddling don't stop it
• Episodes are predictable—often starting around the same time each day
• Baby is otherwise healthy and gaining weight well

When colic typically appears:

• Usually starts around 2-3 weeks of age
• Peaks around 6 weeks
• Typically resolves by 3-4 months (rarely extends past 5 months) AAP

What Causes Colic?

Despite decades of research, we don't fully understand what causes colic. Current theories include: AAP

Immature digestive system: Your baby's gut is still developing, and the nervous system that controls digestion is learning to work properly. This may cause discomfort as food moves through.

Overstimulation: After a day of taking in the world—lights, sounds, faces, sensations—some babies become overwhelmed and release that tension through crying.

Gut microbiome development: The beneficial bacteria in your baby's gut are still establishing themselves, which may cause temporary digestive upset.

Normal developmental crying: Some researchers believe colic is simply the far end of the normal crying curve—some babies just cry more.

What colic is NOT:

• It's not caused by "bad" parenting
• It's not your baby manipulating you
• It's not usually a sign of a serious medical problem
• It's not related to formula vs. breastfeeding
• It's not caused by gas (though gas often accompanies crying)

Ruling Out Other Causes

Before assuming it's colic, work with your pediatrician to rule out other causes of excessive crying: AAP

Medical conditions to consider:

• Milk protein allergy or intolerance
• Gastroesophageal reflux (GERD)
• Ear infection or other illness
• Hair tourniquet (hair wrapped tightly around finger or toe)
• Hunger (not getting enough milk)
• Hernia

Signs it might NOT be typical colic:

• Vomiting or diarrhea
• Blood in stool
• Fever
• Poor weight gain
• Crying that doesn't follow the pattern (not worse in evening, not predictable)
• Baby seems unwell between crying episodes

Soothing Techniques That May Help

While there's no guaranteed cure for colic, these strategies help many babies: AAP

The 5 S's (Dr. Harvey Karp's method):
1. Swaddle: Snug wrapping can calm the startle reflex and help baby feel secure
2. Side/Stomach position: Hold baby on their side or tummy (only while awake and supervised—back for sleep)
3. Shush: Loud "shhhhing" near baby's ear mimics womb sounds
4. Swing: Gentle rhythmic motion—bouncing, swaying, rocking
5. Suck: Offer a pacifier, breast, or clean finger to suck on

Other soothing strategies:

• White noise (vacuum cleaner, running water, white noise machine)
• Going outside—fresh air and change of scenery helps many babies
• Baby-wearing in a carrier or wrap
• Warm bath (for some babies—not all)
• Car rides or stroller walks
• Skin-to-skin contact
• Gentle belly massage in clockwise circles
• Bicycling baby's legs to help move gas

Feeding adjustments:

• Burp baby frequently during and after feeds
• Hold baby more upright during feeds
• If bottle feeding, try a slow-flow nipple
• Feed smaller amounts more frequently
• If breastfeeding, try eliminating dairy for 2 weeks to see if it helps (discuss with your doctor first)

What Probably Won't Help

Despite marketing claims, research doesn't support these common "colic cures": AAP

Gas drops (simethicone): Studies show they're no more effective than placebo for colic. They're safe but probably not helpful.

Gripe water: Not regulated by the FDA, no proven benefit, and some versions contain alcohol or other concerning ingredients.

Probiotic drops: Some studies suggest Lactobacillus reuteri may help, but evidence is mixed. Discuss with your pediatrician before trying.

Switching formulas repeatedly: Unless there's an actual allergy or intolerance, switching formulas typically doesn't help and may make things worse.

Chiropractic or craniosacral therapy: No evidence these help colic, and adjustments on newborns carry risks.

Protecting Your Mental Health

This is critical: colic takes a serious toll on parents. The relentless crying triggers a primal stress response, and sleep deprivation makes everything harder. AAP

Know your limits:

• If you feel overwhelmed, put baby down in a safe place (crib, bassinet) and step away for a few minutes
• Crying won't hurt your baby—but shaking can cause permanent brain damage or death
• Take turns with your partner or a trusted family member
• Wear earplugs or noise-canceling headphones while soothing—you'll still hear baby but at a safer volume

Get support:

• Talk to other parents who've survived colic
• Consider joining a support group
• Don't isolate—accept help when offered
• Keep communication open with your partner

Watch for warning signs in yourself:

• Thoughts of harming yourself or baby
• Inability to bond with baby
• Extreme anger or rage
• Feeling like you can't cope
• Not caring about baby's needs

These are signs of postpartum depression or anxiety—not weakness. Call your doctor right away.

When to Call Your Doctor

Contact your pediatrician if: AAP

• Crying is accompanied by fever, vomiting, or diarrhea
• Baby isn't gaining weight or is feeding poorly
• There's blood in baby's stool
• Baby seems truly unwell (not just fussy)
• Crying pattern changes suddenly or dramatically
• You're worried something else might be wrong
• You're struggling to cope and need support

What Other Parents Ask

"Is my baby in pain?"
We don't know for sure, but probably not severe pain. Colic looks distressing, but babies with colic develop normally and don't seem to have lasting effects. The crying may be more about overstimulation or developmental adjustment than pain.

"Did I cause this?"
Absolutely not. Colic is not caused by anything you did or didn't do. It affects babies from all feeding methods, parenting styles, and backgrounds equally.

"Will this ever end?"
Yes! Almost all colic resolves by 3-4 months. The peak is usually around 6 weeks, and then it gradually improves. You will get through this.

"Will my baby remember this?"
No. Babies don't form explicit memories at this age. Your baby won't remember the colic or hold it against you.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Colic is finite. One day—usually around 3 months—you'll realize the screaming sessions are shorter. Then less frequent. Then gone. And you'll have a happy, healthy baby who shows no memory of those difficult weeks.

Until then: take it one hour at a time. Accept help. Put baby down when you need a break. And know that getting through colic makes you stronger, not weaker.

Clara is here if you need to talk through a particularly hard evening or just need someone to tell you that you're doing a great job—because you are.