Social Development in Children: From Infancy to Adolescence
Social development—learning to interact with others, form relationships, and navigate the social world—is a crucial aspect of child development. From a baby's first social smile to a teen's complex friendships, social skills develop through predictable stages while being shaped by experience and environment.
Social Development in Infancy (0-12 Months) AAP
Social development begins at birth.
Early social connection: Newborns are born ready for social connection. They prefer faces to other visual patterns, are calmed by human voices, and are primed to form attachments.
Social smile (2-3 months): Around 2-3 months, babies begin smiling in response to people. This social smile is a major milestone that strengthens bonds with caregivers.
Social referencing (8-12 months): Babies begin looking to caregivers for emotional cues about new situations. If you seem calm and happy, they're more likely to feel safe exploring.
Attachment forms (6-12 months): Babies form strong attachments to primary caregivers. Secure attachment—when babies know their needs will be met—is the foundation for later social development.
Stranger wariness (6-12 months): Many babies become cautious around unfamiliar people, showing a preference for known caregivers. This is developmentally normal.
Social Development in Toddlerhood (1-3 Years) CDC
Toddlers begin to interact with others beyond their immediate caregivers.
Parallel play (18-24 months): Toddlers play alongside other children, doing similar activities but not truly together. They're interested in peers but not yet able to cooperate.
Early cooperative play (2-3 years): True cooperative play begins to emerge. Toddlers can share (sometimes), take turns (with support), and engage in simple play with others.
Empathy emerges (18-24 months): Toddlers begin to show concern when others are upset. They may try to comfort someone who is crying, showing early empathy.
Asserting independence: Toddlers are learning to assert themselves—saying no, claiming toys, expressing preferences. This can create conflict but is normal development.
Sharing is hard: True sharing is developmentally difficult for toddlers. They're just beginning to understand that others have feelings and desires too.
Social Development in Preschool (3-5 Years) AAP
Preschoolers are becoming truly social beings.
Cooperative play develops: Preschoolers engage in increasingly complex cooperative play—playing house, building together, creating elaborate pretend scenarios with others.
Friendships form: Preschoolers develop early friendships, often based on proximity (the child next door) or shared interests. They talk about friends and show preferences for certain playmates.
Social skills grow: Preschoolers learn to share, take turns, wait for their turn, and cooperate—though they still need support and reminders.
Conflict resolution is developing: Preschoolers are learning to resolve conflicts with words rather than actions. They need adult support but are developing skills.
Understanding of others grows: Preschoolers are developing theory of mind—the understanding that others have their own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives.
Gender in play: Preschoolers often prefer to play with same-gender peers and engage in gender-stereotyped play, though this varies among children.
Social Development in Early Elementary (5-8 Years) CDC
Elementary school brings more complex social interactions.
Friendships deepen: School-age children form closer friendships based on shared interests and personalities. Best friends become important.
Group dynamics emerge: Children become aware of social hierarchies, popularity, and group belonging. They want to fit in with peers.
Social rules are understood: Children understand social rules and expectations and can adjust behavior for different contexts.
Empathy continues developing: Children are better at understanding others' perspectives and feelings. They can offer comfort and help.
Conflict resolution improves: Children can negotiate, compromise, and resolve conflicts with less adult intervention.
Bullying may emerge: Unfortunately, bullying behaviors sometimes emerge in early elementary. Teaching children about bullying and maintaining open communication is important.
Social Development in Later Elementary (8-12 Years) AAP
Peer relationships become increasingly important.
Peer influence grows: While parents remain the primary influence, peers become increasingly important in shaping attitudes, interests, and behavior.
Friendships are more stable: Friendships are based on trust, shared interests, and mutual support. Same-gender friendships predominate.
Cliques may form: Children often form tight-knit friend groups. Being included or excluded from groups can feel very important.
Social comparison increases: Children compare themselves to peers in appearance, abilities, and popularity. This can affect self-esteem.
Interest in social media may begin: Many children this age become interested in social media and online communication, bringing new social dynamics.
Romantic interests may emerge: Some pre-teens begin to show interest in romantic relationships, though these are typically brief and focused on social status.
Social Development in Adolescence (12-18 Years) CDC
Adolescence brings dramatic changes in social relationships.
Peers become central: Friends and peer groups have enormous influence on teen behavior, attitudes, and choices. Teens spend more time with peers and less with family.
Friendships are intense and important: Teen friendships are characterized by intimacy, self-disclosure, and strong emotional bonds. Best friends are very important.
Romantic relationships develop: Many teens have romantic relationships. These provide opportunities to learn about intimacy, communication, and healthy partnerships.
Social media is pervasive: Most teens use social media extensively, which shapes social dynamics, self-presentation, and communication.
Identity development includes social identity: Teens explore who they are in relation to groups—gender, race, interests, values, sexuality.
Family remains important: Despite appearing to prefer peers, teens still need family connection, support, and guidance. Family relationships predict long-term outcomes.
How to Support Social Development AAP
Model social skills: Children learn social skills by watching adults. Model kindness, empathy, conflict resolution, and positive relationships.
Provide opportunities for social interaction: Playdates, group activities, and unstructured play with peers all support social development.
Teach specific skills: Some children need explicit teaching of social skills—how to join a group, how to handle conflict, how to be a good friend.
Discuss social situations: Talk about social dynamics, friendships, and challenges. Help children think through solutions to social problems.
Stay connected: Maintain open communication about your child's social life at every age. Know their friends and be available to discuss concerns.
Supervise appropriately: The level of supervision decreases as children mature, but monitoring friendships and activities remains important through adolescence.
Address bullying: Teach children what bullying is, how to respond, and how to seek help. Take bullying seriously if it occurs.
When to Seek Help CDC
Talk to your child's doctor if they:
- Have persistent difficulty making or keeping friends
- Are extremely shy or anxious in social situations
- Show no interest in other children
- Are aggressive or have significant behavior problems with peers
- Are being bullied or bullying others
- Are isolated or withdrawn
- Have lost previously held social skills
Social skills challenges can be addressed with appropriate support.
The Bottom Line
Social development is a crucial aspect of growing up, unfolding from infancy through adolescence. Children develop social skills through a combination of brain maturation and experience. Your guidance, modeling, and support help your child develop the social skills they need for relationships throughout life.
Clara is here to answer questions about your child's social development!